Opinion: Lean In? Sometimes You Have To Lean Out

LOS ANGELES- For years, women have been told that if we want to succeed, we need to “lean in.” Work twice as hard to get half as much. Push through. Prove ourselves. Be unstoppable.

And we’ve done it—at work, at home, everywhere. But somewhere along the way, many of us lost sight of what we were working so hard for.

Sheryl Sandberg’s message to “lean in” was meant to empower women to take their seat at the table. And it did. But what she didn’t fully address is the cost of that constant leaning. Because when we lean too far, something eventually breaks—our health, our relationships, our joy.

The Hidden Cost of Success

In industries like cannabis and other emerging markets, the pressure is relentless. We’re not just working hard—we’re building the plane as it’s taking off. The level of sacrifice and commitment required can be all-consuming.

I know this firsthand. For years, I prided myself on being the one who could handle it all. I never took time off between jobs, brought my laptop on every vacation, and convinced myself that starting my own company would give me freedom. Instead, I became shackled to growth, success, and expectation.

I went days without eating properly, working late into the night, weekends blending into weekdays. My children started to notice. My marriage began to feel the strain. My mental health deteriorated to the point where I couldn’t even walk into my home office without anxiety. I was burning out—and fast.

And still, I kept pushing. Because who was I afraid of disappointing? My husband? My clients? The industry? Or maybe it was the ghosts of those early adolescent insecurities—the idea that I still had something to prove.

The Wake-Up Call

Eventually, I hit a wall. The kind of wall that forces you to stop—because if you don’t, life will stop you. I realized I was about to lose the very things that mattered most: my family, my health, my peace.

So this past summer, I made a decision that terrified me: I leaned out.

I announced to clients and colleagues that I wasn’t taking new projects for the summer. I established immovable blocks of time for myself and my family. I was going to focus on healing, reconnecting, and rebuilding.

To my surprise, the response wasn’t judgment—it was support. From both men and women across the industry, the reaction was overwhelmingly positive. People said, “I wish I could do that,” or “I did that once, and it changed everything.”

Sara Blakely of Spanx once said that when you’re juggling a lot of balls, you need to figure out which ones will bounce and which will break. I finally understood what she meant. If you try to hold onto everything, the things that truly matter will eventually shatter.

Leaning Out to Lean Back In

Taking that time to step back didn’t just help me recover—it reminded me why I do what I do. It gave me perspective, strength, and clarity. I returned to work renewed, with boundaries that protect both my family and my sanity.

And I realized something else: the cannabis and wellness industries are uniquely filled with compassionate, supportive, mission-driven people. My colleagues didn’t just understand—they encouraged me. They saw leaning out not as weakness, but as wisdom.

The New Definition of Success

Success isn’t about how many hours we work or how many titles we collect. It’s about creating a life that allows us to experience the moments we’re working so hard for.

Sometimes, that means leaning in with everything you’ve got. But other times—especially when your mental health, relationships, or family are at risk—it means having the courage to lean out.

So yes, Sheryl Sandberg, there are moments to lean in. But there are also times when the most powerful, self-loving thing you can do is to lean out—to reclaim your time, your balance, and your peace.

Image: Laurie Parfitt 

Copyright © 2025 Highly Capitalized Network and Laurie Parfitt. Laurie is the Founder of LKP Impact Consulting, a Fractional CMO firm specializing in brand strategy, marketing, and growth for cannabis and wellness companies.

With more than two decades of experience across CPG and cannabis, Laurie is a national speaker and thought leader known for her work in helping brands find balance between purpose, performance, and people.

You can contact Laurie via direct message by clicking this link.